Evee, or, When It Isn’t the Right Horse

17 thoughts on “Evee, or, When It Isn’t the Right Horse”

  1. A lot of my relationship with Copper had a tinge of fear to it for a while. He (still) has never bucked or reared with me, but I’ve seen him pull some crazy moves with other people, thus I was afraid of him. Apparently he just needed a strong hand too though because when I put him in training last year, he was a kite straight off the trailer. The trainer was totally cussing me in his head. He had the parking lot battle (these must be common ha) and the next day when I came Copper was settled in like he lived there and there was a mutual respect. Copper never did anything wrong with that trainer. lol

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    1. aww, that’s great he settled in. I totally lol’d at the parking lot battle. Sassy horses!
      When they are so crazy/big they are scary. My day to day experience with Evee was frequently accompanied by “please don’t do anything bad…”
      I feel like I’m a much stronger hand now though, as I can totally boss around a green little medium pony! Yeah! I’ve learned!
      I’m glad Copper became so respectful! 🙂

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  2. I had a not quite as bad but a little similar experience with my first horse. I loved her. In some ways she just wasn’t a good fit for a first horse.

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    1. Good fit is so important. If I had taken a step back, I would have acknowledged that a green ottb would not be a good match for someone that just got back into horses. There was a bit of a pride thing that bit me in the ass – Evee was my third horse, so I figured with that much experience, I totally could handle it! hah!

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  3. I believe that there are good horse/human matches and there are bad ones. Just like with people…my ideal husband is probably not someone else’s idea of the perfect spouse. I’m glad you have no regrets, because you shouldn’t. It was not a match and it was a safety issue. You found the right partner and it sounds like so has she. Well Done!

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    1. That’s very true! Husbands are a great analogy, hehe.
      It was a bit worrying to send her off. Part of me wondered if a difficult horse wouldn’t end up in a bad way. I think it’s really lucky she ended up with such a great trainer.

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    1. They most certainly should! I’m so happy I get such joy from the ones I have now.
      Definitely no ad for Dave! He’s still a keeper! (for whatever reason, he just never saw the flaws in Evee, except the $$$ ones, ha!)

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  4. When we purchased Lilith, she was considered to be temperamental and difficult to manage. She’s anything but that. Lilith has had such a sweet disposition from the very second we purchased her. Horses, they like order and they like routine. The “but” part is they need to know who’s boss.

    Our horses, including the girl ones, all are tall ones – 17.0 – 17.2 hands.

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  5. Not every match is made in heaven. You’re smart to realize that this horse just isn’t for you and move on. Following is the story of a horse I gave up because things just weren’t working. In the end, saying goodbye to Chief led to better things. While it hurt at the time, new opportunities arose and I’ve gotten a better understanding of what I will and will not tolerate in a horse. Enjoy your other horses and know that you did the right thing.
    http://dressagemortals.org/2015/03/25/thanks-chief-2/

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    1. Thanks for sharing. I’m going to read it now! It is a learning experience, even if it doesn’t work out. I have a better read for little red flags to notice before they become big problems.

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  6. This is a really honest look into something I think lots of people find very hard. I’ve watched a few people with the wrong horse and a few people who have passed up the wrong horse for the right horse, and it’s been very interesting. You really nailed the complexity of the feelings involved in realising you’ve got the wrong partner, as well as understanding why you feel that way and what there is to do about it. I know at least one person who is still a little bitterwhen she sees a horse she passed over (for VERY good reason) doing well in his current home, and it’s hard to hear “well, you would have been completely overfaced and in trouble with him” as a reason to NOT be cranky. I wonder if our innate desire to think well of ourselves allows us to get into these troubles — to think that we can do it on our own, that it won’t be so bad, that we’ll improve. You’ve got me thinking psychology now.

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    1. Yup I think you nailed it. I see Evee in pictures and for a moment think “wow that could have been me!” But really, it never would have been. But the thought process behind it… it’s hard for anyone to hear they don’t have the right skills to deal with their horse. Especially with the emotional attachment that comes with owning any pet. It’s hard to let go – although Evee made it easy for me. I don’t take kindly to being nailed with a hoof!

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  7. what a difficult situation – and decision. i’m so glad it didn’t color your entire experiences with horses tho, and that you were able to realize that Vintage and Berry made you happy where Evee did not. it’s also admirable that you were so careful to make sure she found a good home despite being so detached from her. i think there will always be horses that just aren’t a good match for whatever reasons. the trick is extricating yourself unscathed – which you seem to have done very well. glad Evee is doing well in her new home.

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  8. I rode and leased an OTTB chestnut gelding for over a year. He had just gotten out of 10 years of racing. His new owner wanted him to be a jumper. I was pushing for hunter, as I didn’t think the speed and precision of jumpers was something he’d excel at right after racing (the concept of a “bouncy canter” was not one he understood). Needless to say, he and I did not get along, and after a year of him hurting himself, recovering, walking and trotting for weeks, and being unable to get the impulsion needed for him to do the jumpers out of his canter, I gave up. He is the only horse in my life I gave up on. I still believe he’d do great in the hunters, and that he could really be a great horse for someone else, but I could never personally figure out how to explain to a horse that had loved his old job so much and had been so successful doing it, that he wasn’t doing that job anymore and was doing something totally different now. Just gotta keep that chin up! Can’t win ’em all.

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