I am forever setting goals for myself. I can’t function right if I don’t have a goal. It’s a bad feeling, like standing on a busy city. There’s hustle and bustle around me, people doing things, and rushing to their destinations, and then there’s me, wondering what these important people are doing. What are they doing in their lives? Why are they so important? I can sense they are accomplishing so much, and I’m just standing on the sidewalk, walking live’s pass by. I don’t know where I want to go, and as a result, I’m not going anywhere.
I need a goal. I need to know where I’m going. I need to know what I want to accomplish in life. The need spans from knowing where I want my career to go, to knowing where I want to travel to, to knowing what I want my fitness level to be. And I want to learn. I want to grow as a person, and learn everything I can.
My biggest fear is that I will grow old, and one day I will look back on my life and think What did I do? Why did I spend so much time doing nothing, when I could have been out doing something. I had the time, I just choose to be lazy.
I used to wonder why some people seemed so lucky they were born into rich families, or were very popular, or were more talented than I. I could do that too, if I had the advantages they had, I would think. I gave myself an excuse to not do anything, because I thought I could never measure up to others. I was focusing on the wrong aspect instead of determining what I needed to do to have these things. There’s no set quota of friends, talent and money per year. Why should they be out enjoying life, while I am sitting here, being jealous? What is stopping me from making my own money, making my own friends, practicing my own hobbies? The reins will not be offered to me; I need to find my own horse, and grab my own reins.
It’s up to me to live the life that I want. To be frank, there is no magic fairy to wave her magic wand and declare me a princess. There’s no obscure rich relative to suddenly leave me millions of dollars. It doesn’t happen. I need to use my own magic, and get moving.
And it starts with knowing where I am going.